Tuesday 12/02/2008

How Could This Be Happening? Jesus, You are enough for me. I trust You, Father God, and I trust that You have a perfect plan for my life. You know all things. Although this is the most difficult thing I have had to face in my life I know You are with me. As my mind would try to prepare for the labor and delivery of my stillborn child I could not help but to dread the event. How could I go through the process without the beautiful prize at the end? I have had no problem in the past with labor and delivery, no matter how long or painful, I was willing to do what ever it takes for those little babies to be as safe as possible. My other three children were born at home with a midwife. This time it would be so different, I was feeling upset that I had to go through it all and not have a beautiful baby to bring home when it was over. The thought of having her at the hospital repulses me, scares me, and makes me cry. How could this be happening. There where no signs, no warnings. This was the easiest pregnancy I’ve had. No morning sickness, no spotting.